Galaxy Goof-Ups: Attack of the Tacky Clones
by Generation X-er
Summary: Tacky cat returns


Prologue Once, many, many Saturday mornings ago, at the height of the seventies disco era, in a galaxy not too far away, There was a space station manned by three noble and stalwart defenders of the galaxy. Their mission was to defend truth justice, and the universe from all manner of evil-doers. The only problem was that they were about the most incompetent trio of galactic crime-fighters the universe had ever seen. These stupidity-inclined space rangers were officially known as the Galaxy Guardians, but everyone knew them as..  
  
The Galaxy Goof-Ups  
  
Attack of the Tacky Clones  
  
In the great senate chamber, in the capital of the HB toon galaxy, a fierce debate raged. It seemed that a strange fleet of galactic star cruisers had materialized out of nowhere and had begun firing on the galaxy's major cities. Many of the races represented by the galactic council were blamed for the attacks, but nobody wanted to take the credit. Great quarrels broke out among the representatives, until at last, the formerly purloined Princess called the meeting to a halt. "Please, everyone." Said the Princess. "All this arguing is about to make me swoon.rally, it is. Fighting like this will get us nowhere." " Then tell us, your "majesty"," said a tall, mantis-like insectesoid of Zorak's species, "who are these new invaders, and how can we fight them?" All at once the representative from the Gooblies of Saturn raised his pink trunk and pointed dramatically at the mantis, shouting "Goooobligoobligoooblyyyyygoolbygooblygooblygooobly!!!!" "What?!" shouted the Zorak-ish senator. "What do you mean the mantis people are a bunch of unmitigated scroundrals who probably sent this thing up, and are always instigating violence just like that no-good Zorak character?! I'll show you violence, you pink poltrume!" With that he raised his blaster and aimed it sharply at the Goobly. The Gooblies ducked as the laser beam shot over them and struck the senate box belonging to the No- Good-Nicks of Neptune. The No-Good-Nicks started babbling incoherently with their twin sets of mouths, and soon the entire senate was in an uproar again. "Oh, I do wish this fighting would stop", wailed the Princess. "Rally I do. It simply can't be good for my migraine." Just them the high ceiling of the senate chamber imploded and a great ship settled into the chamber. Ooohs and aaahs sounded from the amazed senators at the sight of the ship. It was obviously one of the enemy fleet which was terrorizing the galaxy at that very moment. The hull of the ship was long and sleek, but in badly need of repair, with rust on the chrome siding and numerous instances of chipped and flaking paint. But the most astounding thing about it was that it was shaped like a cat, most noticeably the fore of the craft, which was designed in likeness of a feline head, complete with eyes, ears and bent wire whiskers. The princess had a moment of dread upon finally seeing one of these terrible ships-not because it was right here in the senate, but because it evoked memories which were most unpleasant. "Oooh", she sighed, and this time she really did faint, the crowd murmuring around her. The hull of the ship slid back, and a figure of notoriety and contempt throughout the galaxy emerged. He was an ugly, mangy, grayish feline, dressed in a yellow space tunic with the red letter "T" on the belt. He had a pot belly and a bandage tied around his long mangy tail. He had shiftly yellow eyes, and a few scraggly whiskers. He was uncouth and unkempt, and when he addressed the galactic council, his grammar wasn't too good either.  
  
"Give it up, losers. You galactic numb skulls ain't never gonna stop me!" The head of the council, an enormously fat alien with a wide gash of a mouth, said "Tacky Cat! You're the one behind this!" "Heheheh! That's right suckers!" said Tacky Cat with a nasty smirk. "I'm back! And this time I'm gonna take over the entire galaxy! I just thought y'all might like known' whose' you'll be ginvn' the orders from now on." "Oh, yeah?" twanged a member of the Boing-a-Dwoings "You and whose army?" "I gots me an army, boing-buddy!" sneered Tacky Cat. "Half yer cities is already totaled! And now were on to the rest-'less you wants to be smart, and make me yer new emporer right as of now!" "Forget it, you felonious feline!" shouted the galactic sentor. "You'll never get away with it! The Galaxy Gaurdians will stop you! They did it twice before! They'll do it again!" By this time, the Princess had just recovered, and had climbed dizzily to her senate box to see Tacky threatening the councilor. "Oh yeah?" said Tacky Cat snottily. "Well..take this galactic senate!" He then made an obsene gesture at the most prominant members of the cabinet. There were exclaimations of horror and outrage from all the senate members, and the Princess, who had finally regained her senses, swooned once more into a faint. Tacky cat roared with self-satisfied laughter, and roared away in his cat-cruiser, leaving the senate in a state of shock and dismay. For several moments, no one spoke. Then the Galactic Counsilor solemly said, "Call the Galaxy Guardians."  
  
At that moment, at the Galaxy Guardians Space Station, Captain Snerdly, Yogi, Huckleberry Hound, Scarebear and Quack-Up were fixing up the conference hall for the Galaxy Patrol Committee. "Now, men." Snerdly instructed, "you make sure this floor is so sparkling clean we could eat off it! General Bullhorn is holding a Committee meeting in here tonight, and we don't want to disappoint him!" "Right, sir!" said Yogi "Yessir! Right away, Captn' Snerdly, sir!" said Quack-Up. "We'll be eating off this floor in no time sir!" Captian Snerdly turned slightly red in the face like he always did whenever Quack-Up was around. "I don't want you to eat off the floor, you ding-a-ling! I want you to have this floor clean as a whistle for the General's board meeting." "Clean as a whistle, sir!" Quack-Up blew a silver whistle loudly in the captain's face, causing Snerdly's red hair to get all frazzled. He then began vigorously polishing the whistle. "Right sir! I'll have this whistle sparkling clean sir! As clean as-" "Ooooooooh!" Snerdly fumed. " I don't know what to do with you men! Have this floor clean by the time the General shows up or else!!! "Or else?" asked Quack-Up. "That's not a complete sentence, sir!" Snerdly gritted his teeth and stalked off, fuming. "Yahahahahee" said Yogi. "The captain seems pretty upset. Let's make sure we finishing cleaning this floor for the General! If we don't have it ready on time, he might our weeks' vacation. I'm itching to get back to Jellystone Park with Booboo for some pic-a-nic basket napping." "I'm a-gonna just taker easy on my vacation." Said Huckleberry, leisurely mopping the floor. "hey, Scare, what is it you'll be doing over your week's vacation?" "Me?" asked Scarebear, who was scrubbing the floor."I'm gonna be visiting my folks on Nebulark. That's the planet all us scarebears are from." "Really?" asked Quack-Up, mopping the floor crazily with "I always thought you was like, a one-of-a-kind-type bear." "No way! We've got us a whole Scarebear community! Hey, maybe I'll invite you guys, sometime! You'd like Nebulark! It' so homey!" Just then, the loudspeakers came on. "Galaxy Guardians to control room! Galaxy Guardians to control room!" "Hey Haaaay! That's us, men!" exclaimed Yogi "On the double!" The men rushed for the control room, but of course ended up slipping on the sudsy floor. They all piled into each other, and slid across the conference room, down the hall, and into the control room to lie in a confused heap. It was then that a familiar voice rang nastily in their ears. "Heheheh! Looks like you've been doing another cleanup job for Captain Snerdly!" "How'd ya guess?" Huckleberry asked. "Oh! Oh!" cried Scarebear in fright "I know that voice! No! It can't be! Not him! Not him!!" he squeezed shut his eyes and shook like a leaf. "I'm afraid it is, galactic goofballs." Sneered the voice. "Yup, that's him fer sure, awright." Said Huckleberry. They were now all on their feet and facing the large screen monitor in front of them-all except Scarebear at least, who was still cowering on the floor. "That's Tacky Cat." Tacky's unlovely face was framed on the monitor, smirking at them. "Well, whatever you're up to, you renegade hairball, you won't get away with it!" challenged Quack-Up. "Oh, I won't, will I?" sneered Tacky Cat. "See this?" he held up a strange device that looked like a glass tube, a foot thick in diameter, and held in a metal frame with a series of green and red pushbuttons above and below. "Er, yeah." said Yogi. "What is it, may I be so bold as to ask, some kind of new-fangled punchbowl?" "Punchbowl, schmunchbowl! This, galactic losers, happens to be a new-and improved model of the cloning device I stole the last time! Only this little baby, heheh, makes clones that are indestructible! I've already made a whole army of Tacky Cat clones! We've been blowing up the empire's major cities for weeks now! All I have to do now is invade the capital! Every one of me will take over the galaxy! Hhhehehheheheh! I'll be ruling the roost! And there ain't nothing you four dipsticks and that corny captain can do about it!" "Oh, yeah? Put up yer dukes, yah mangy old furball! You can't get away with that!" All of them turned to see Scarebear, who was no longer cowering on the floor, but was bouncing around, punching his fists in the air, pretending to be taking Tacky Cat on. Of course, this was because, Tacky Cat was not here in person. "Why you--!" said Tacky Cat. "I oughta-" he reached through the monitor and grabbed Scare by the front of his space uniform. "Yeow!!!" exclaimed Scarebear, hiw eyes shooting out from his head. Tacky was sneering at him horribly, and his breath smelled of stale fish. "Hey Tacky!" yelled Quack-Up suddenly. "You smell like you're due for your yearly bath!" he sloshed a bucket of sudsy, soapy water full onto Tacky cat, drenching him. He released Scarebear. "You featherbrain!" Tacky raged. "I only take baths every two years, ya spaced-out moron! But ya ain't stoppn' me! If ya'all feel up to it, jest come and try! In fact, I dares ya to!" The screen crackled and went black. "Hahahahayiiiieeeeh" said Yogi. "Sounds like 'ol Tacky means business." "So he's the one that been a-plundering the space cities! Ah might have known 'ol Tacky was behind this!" "Wel' get that scion of space skullduggery!" said Quack-Up. "Hey- what's this?" He picked up a small metal object off the floor. It was shiny, and round, like a metal button. "Hmmmmm." Said Huckleberry. "That there little 'ol doodad musta fallen off Tacky Cat when he reached through the screen. "Wonder what it is?" "I know! I know!" cried Scarebear in abrupt excitement, jumping up and down. "That things used by those Shindar cloner dudes on Nebulark-my home planet!" "Ohmagosh" said Huckleberry. "Tacky Cat must have been there. That must have been where he picked up the clone machine along with that there thang." "Well, guys." Said Yogi "I guess we'll be visiting Scarebear's folks sooner then we planned!"  
  
At that moment, Captain Snerdly had entered the Space Conference Hall to check on the men. They weren't there. "Oh, those bumbling cretins!" he admonished. "Shirking again! Probably snuck off to the space disco again! When I get through with them, I-" "What's going on here!" boomed a commanding voice behind him. Snerdly humped almost a meter into the air, made a turnaround, and landed squarely in front of the angry lavander face of General Bullhorn. "Wh-why General!" stammered Snerdley. "What a nice surprise to find you here! I was just on my way-" "Now listen up, Snerdly!" roared Bullhorn. "I want this Conference room spanking clean for the meeting tonight. The colonel and the president himself are going to be here to discuss Tacky Cat's threats on the Empire!And when I say clean, I mean clean! Do I make myself clear?" "Yes! Why, yes, of course, you do sir! You do! I was just-" "Let me take a look!" answered the general. Snerdly quaked as Bullhorn stepped out onto the floor. And then the general's right foot slid out from under him. "Why aren't your men cleaning?" he demanded. "I don't know! cried Snerdly, mortified. "Ah, maybe it's their breaktime... In the next instant the general was flat on his back on the soapy floor. "Oh! Ah!" stammered the terrified Snerdly. "Here, general, let me help you up!" Once he got the general to his feet, Bullhorn said to him. "Okay, Snerdly, just for that, you, can finish all their chores for them before tonight's meeting!" "But sir," Snerdly protested. "It was the men, they-" "Bosh!" roared the infuriated general. "The only reason those brave men aren't here is that they're probably risking their lives on some mission to save the galaxy for some neferus intergalactic menace!" "But sir I didn't send them on-" "Never mind that, Snerdly!" Just then Snerdly's cell phone crackled to life. He looked at it in sudden alarm. "Well, Snerdly?" demanded the general "What are you waiting for?" With shaking fingers, Snerdly retrived the phone. "Snerdly here." "It's Yogi, Captain Snerdly sir! We, ah, just got a message from Tacky Cat! Says he's taking over the galaxy with a new clone machine!" "Well, what are you four twits waiting for!" ordered the Captain. "Get on the double and catch him!" "Er, yes, sir, Captain Snerdly sir, right away!" Snerdly turned off the phone, and sighed with relief. "There, sir!" he said to Bullhorn "it's all taken care of!" "What did I tell you, captain!" said the general "those brave men out there risking their lives, and you still haven't cleaned up this hall! "But General Bullhorn, sir-" "Get to it Snerdly, Move it!!!! "Y-yes sir. Ooooooooooh!" At that moment the Galaxy Goof-Ups were speeding through hyperspace. By this time, they had already already stopped at the local Space Disco. They had jammed to the music, along with a host of weird-looking alien lifeforms. Their arms had flapped like wet noodles, as the room swam with color. Yogi had danced with a neon-colored tenacled alien from Zeneb IX. But now they were rapidly approaching the Nebulark Nebula, home of Nebulark the planet of the Scare Bears. They soon entered the Nebulark solar system, and after that sighted the planet itself. Nebulark was a vast, globe of smokey green against the shimmering blue-and pink of the nebula. Upon entering the planet's atmosphere, they quickly became aware that this world was blanketed beneath a thick cloud cover. "Hey!" exclaimed Quack-Up. "We can't see to drive!" "Yay-ho! Where it every-a-thing go!" yelled Yogi. "Don't worry!" explained Scarebear. "It's always like this up here. These here clouds are what keeps the rainforest all nice and wet-like." All of a sudden, they burst free of the thick layer of clouds. They could tell straight away that they were sailing high above an enormous planetary rainforest, which according to Scarebear, blanketed the entire globe of Nebulark. And then something else materialized out of the cloud layer, and flew up by the ship to peer ominously into the cabin window. When Scarebear saw it, he let out a huge yell. "AAAAAAAAHHHH!" he shrieked, eyeballs springing off his furry face as the thing's huge eyes looked in on them. He zipped away to hide in the luggage compartment. The rest of them looked and cried "Yow! Wh-what is that????" "It's a s-s-s-s-s-k-k-k-y shark!" stammered Scarebear from inside the compartment. "A sky-what!?" asked Huck. "I sky-shark!" cried Scare Bear hysterically. "They live up in the clouds over the forest!" "And don't a-be telln' me." Said Huckleberry. "they eat Scarebears, Jellystone Park Bears, Blue Southern Hound dogs, and Ding-bat Ducks!" "Wrong!" cried Scarebear. "They don't like none of those things!" "Well, I guess we don't have nothin' to be worryin' 'bout, then!" "What they eat is spaceships-like this one!" "Now he tells us!" said Huckleberry, just as the huge sky-shark's jaws swallowed the ship in one quick gulp. They were swallowed down the crimson gullet in the next instant. As darkness enveloped the cabin, and only their eyes became visible, Quack-Up said, "Well, whada we do now?" "Well, frankly," said Huck "Ah thinks its 'bout time for Plan B-56.7" "Awright!" wheezed Quack-Up. "B-56.7! Yay-raw, B-56.7! Hooray! We're saved! Er...just what is Plan B-56.7, by the way?" "Why, Plan B-56.7's the Genuine Nebularkan Sky-shark repellent. He lit a match lighting up the interior of the sky-shark's belly like a crimson carvern. Then he showed them his spray-can of genuine Nebularkan Sky-Shark repellent. He sprayed it around, causing the others to hack and cough. The sky-shark gave a loud burp that set the space ship trembling, but nothing more. "Some shark repellent!" Quack-Up retorted angerly. "Uh-oh, fellas." said Huck, reading the label. "Ah plumb fergot. This here repellent only works before you get swallowed." "Guess I'll have to handle this little prediciment my own way!" exclaimed Quack-Up, as he reached back and plucked a new feather from his duck tail. He prsssed the ejector button, and the hatch of the cabin rolled back. Then he started the propellar on his helmet, and shot up in the air out of the hatch. He zoomed for the roof of the sky-shark's belly. "Hey, sky-shark!" he yelled "Let's see how ya like this!" He began maniacally tickling the sky-shark with the feather. The sky-shark began laughing and chortling uncontrollably. "Keep it up, Quack-Up!" cried Yogi. "it's workn'!" Finally the sky-shark had all the tickling he could stand and blew the entire ship out of his mouth, and Quack up with it. The crashed through the trees into the dense, dark, Nebularkan rainforest. The ship crashed through the branches, through the vapopy, and then the understory, to land on the floor of the jungle. The Galaxy Goof-ups got out, and looked around them. The forest was filled with strange blue-and- pink vegetation, and dripping with condensed moisture. "Well, where too now?" Yogi asked.. Just then, a huge, red-and- blue striped tiger-thing with a curved horn in the center of its forehead, leapt out of the foliage, directly in their path. "Let's get oughta here!" they all yelled, and ran as fast as they could in the opposite direction. They could hear the tiger-thing crashing through the jungle behind them, its hot breath a wind against their backs, Scarebear in the lead. Then, directly in the path in front of them, reared up a new monstrosity, this one a snaggle-toothed serpent with three pairs of limbs along its sinuous body. "Er..so what do we do now, Scare, 'ol buddy?" cried Yogi, as the two jungle space predators closed in on them. "We go down here!" said Scare. And before any of them had time to register, Scare had flipped open a cover like a manhole cover, and disappeared down a hole. The three remaining space rangers were left staring in shock. "Where'd he get to?" asked Huck. "Never mind!" said Quack-Up. "We'd better join 'im-'less we'd rather end up as lunch fer those two sc-sc-scoundrels." He flipped open the hidden cover, and plunged in. "Gee-ronimo!" Yogi and Huck looked around fearfully as the two snarling beasts closed in, each confident of victory. "Well, like they say, when in Rome.." Huck followed Quack-Up down the hole, and Yogi plunged in after him. Seeing their prey was escaping them, the two beasts pounced, only to crash straight into each other. Scarebear, Quack-Up, Huckleberry Hound, and Yogi slid down the tunnel, screaming every inch of the way. The slide curved, zigzagged, and looped around, until at length, each of them popped out to land on top of the other in a pile. "Well that shore was one heckuva trip." Murmured Huck, his head spinning. "You said it!" Quack-Up "One wild trip! Whadaya say we all do it again?" "We better have ourselves a look around here first." Answered Yogi, partly to get Quack-Up's screwy brain on back on track-as much as that were possible. They got up and had a look around them. They were in some kind of underground cavern. It was low-ceilinged, and they could see two tunnels each, snaking off from the small chamber they were in. "What the heck is this place?" Yogi asked. "Beat's me!" answered the duck. "I know!" said Scarebear, who had just finished puffing himself out, after being squashed on the bottom of the pile. "We're home!" "Home!?" the others cried. "Yeah! Welcome to Scarebear city, fellas!" he announced proudly. Just then they noticed the dimunitive figures coming out of the tunnels on either side of them. These must be the natives of Nebulark. And they they were all almost vertible twins of Scarebear. They were dressed in fancy feathers and beads, skirts of dried grass, and carried short, funny- looking spears. Two Scarebears who looked like man and wife stepped toward them. One wore a small had, and held a cigar, and the other wore a bonnet. "Why Scare!" they cried seeing Scarebear "So good to see you again, son!" That was when they realized they had at last found Scarebear's Mamma and Papa. "Ma! Pa!" exclaimed Scare, as he through himself into their arms. "Oh, how much you've grown!" said Mamma Scarebear fondly, as she gave her some a hug, though Scare was only a little shorter then she, and didn't really look like he'd grown an inch. "So how was the Space Service, son!" said Papa Scarebear. "Didn't know you'd be home so soon!" "He's.uh..not, really." Explained Yogi. "We're kinda on a mission to save the galaxy." "And who might these fine gentlemen be?" asked Mama Scarebear, as she noticed the other three officers. Scarebear introduced them. When the tribe learned they were friends of Scarebear's they were invited to the Royal Cave belonging to the chief. The chief of the tribe was a fellow with a stout tooth through his nose, and an elaborate headdress of tropical alien bird feathers. They told him all about Tacky Cat's mission to take over the galaxy and how he had managed to steal an improved cloning device to accomplish this end. Upon hearing this, the Scarebears didn't seem very inclined to talk further, but they did tell Yogi and the others all about the Scarebear people. It seemed that long ago, the Scarebears had lived above ground. They had to be very small and quick, because the jungle monsters of Nebulark were constantly praying upon them. Some of the beasts would eat as many as twenty Scarebears at a single meal. So the Scarebears had retreated to these tunnels under ground, always dreading to venture above ground for fear of being eaten. They had underground gardens with artifical light where they tended their crops. They were entirely vegetarians. But even though they now lived in relative safety from the beasts of Nebulakr, they retained their small size and their instinct to run for cover at the first signal of danger. "But what about these cloners?" asked Yogi "You guys have any idea where Tacky Cat got his machine?" Again the Scarebear community seemed reluctant to give out any of this info. But then, one of them ventured," I think I know what you are looking for. But we promised we wouldn't tell, ya see?" "Oh, yeah?" asked Quack-Up. "Promised who, Scaredy-pants?" "Th-th-th-th-the Shindars!" stammered the fearful Scarebear. The other Scarebears moaned fearfully upon hearing one opf their own speak thus. "The Shindars?" asked Yogi. "Please! Don't say their name out loud! One might hear you!" "Oh, so they might, eh?" challenged Quack-Up. "Well, let me have a piece of those lousy Shindars! I can take 'em all on Every last one of 'em! The Shindar doesn't live that can buffalo me, pal! Eh..just what is a Shindar, by the way?" "The Shindar..are our overlords," explained the chief of the Scarebears reluctantly. "They came to our planet many moons ago. They are terrible giants who made slaves of our people. It is rumored the have eight legs, four arms, and many teeth. They would eat us if we refused to obey them." "Whadaya mean rumored?" asked Quack-Up "Ain't ya never seen one?" "Not exactly," answered the chief. "But we know how terrible they are, for we have seen their shadows. " "Their shadows? C'mon! I ain't afraid of no shadows!" "Come, then," said the chief, and I will show you. They followed the chief down a long winding corridor until they came to a vast cavern. The ringing of pickaxes sounded everywhere. The four Guardians gasped at what they saw. Everywhere Scarebears were busy mining jewels, hacking them out of the walls with their pickaxes, and loading them into railcarts. "You see," said the chief. "This is the work of the Shindars. They force us to labor for them. But it is not so bad, really. Everyone has one day off, and we can go home in the evenings, just like a regular work schedule." They could tell though, that there was a more pragmatic reason they had left these Shindar, whoever they were, to go un challenged-they were chicken. "Look!" cried the chief "There is one of them, now!" They all looked to see a gargantuan shadow form against the far wall. The shadow was indeed monstrous-not that it wouldn't have taken a lot less to frighten the Scarebears into servitude. It suggested a gigantic huge toothed giant with four arms and a body below the torso like a huge spider, and brandishing a whip. "Get to work, you lousey Scarebears!" boomed a loud voice over the cavern. The Scarebears cried in fright, and began working harder. The Shadow vanished, retreating back into the side tunnel where it had come. Scarebear himself was clinging on to an annoyed Quack-Up, whining with his eyes tightly shut. But when they looked around for the others looked about for the chief, they found he had run off. "Looks like he's flown the coop." Said Yogi. "Guess we'll have to investigate that shadow on our own." Said Huck "Let's follow that shadow" "Noooooooo!" cried Scarebear. "I don't wanna! I don't wanna!" "Oh, hush-up, you silly Scarebear!" Quack-Up admonished. "We're right here if anything tries to eat ya!" They four courageous and not-so-courageous men crept along the narrow ledge toward the dark tunnel on the far wall from whence the monstrous shadow had issued. When they reached it, Scarebear's teeth were chattering loudly, and he was clinging all the harder to an even more annoyed Quack- Up. But still the readied themselves to enter the dark chasm where the mysterious overlords of Nebulark were lurking. Suddenly Huck wasn't so sure. "Er..hows about you going in there first, Quack-up? You should know how to talk to those Shindar fellers real gentleman-like." "What's the matter with you going in there, first, blue-boy?" Quack-Up challenged. "Er..maybe you guys should go in there together. Like, there's safety in numbers." "So what about you, fearless leader?" Quack-Up wheezed. "I..uh...I'll stay out here and ..uh...supervise." "Fine! That's just fine!" Quack-Up complained "Of all the-" But then it turned out they didn't have to go in after all. They all screamed, nearly toppling off the ledge, as this time three enormous shadows reappeared, each one a duplicate of the next. And again the terrible voices boomed. "STAY OUT INTRUDERS! OR FACE THE WRATH OF THE SHINDAR!!!!" "L-let's get outa here!"Yogi stammered. "Ahm with ya friend." Answered Huck. "Wait a cotton-pickn' sec!" said Quack-Up, pointing. "What's that?" They all looked beyond Quack-Ups' finger to a light emanating from just inside the tunnel. They saw some kind of canvas screen, through which shone the light. And in the light they saw the figures moving. They were only small puppet like figures, but they were unquestionably what were casting the looming shadows on the cavern walls. With smug smirks on their faces, the Goof-Ups crept into the tunnel, and pulled back the canvas. What they found were three Scarebears standing up to their armpits in holes in the cavern floor brandishing cheesy, alien puppets in the light of a nearby oil-lamp. They looked up at the Guardians sheepishly. And nearby they found another Scarebear, who was still yelling into a chonch-shell megaphone, providing the voice of the "shindars". "YOU WERE WARNED, YOU MISERABLE PUNY PERSONS NOW FACE THE SHINDAR'S WRATH-- Smiling sheepishly, his voice trailed off as he looked up at Yogi, Huckelberry, Quack-Up and even Scarebear, who had now opened his eyes. Each of the Goof-Ups seized one of the fraudulent Scarbears, and pushed him up against the cavern wall. "What do you guys think you're doing, trying to scare the other bears!" demanded Yogi. "Yeah," agreed Huck. "you're all under arrest for slavery and jewel smuggling!" "Please don't hurt us!" cried the Scarebear who had been on the megaphone. "It wasn't us! It was the Shindar! He made us do it!" "Hah! Shindar schmindar!" said Quack-Up. "Don't think we're falling for that again do ya?" "Well don't look now, but he's coming down the hall, right behind you guys!" "Hah! What a laugh!" sneered Quack-Up. "Just how stupid..do .ya.thin we..are......?" The duck's voice trailed off as he and the other Galaxy Guardians looked over their shoulders. There was something coming down the tunnel. Something huge that caused the entire passage to reverberate with its terrible footfalls. A huge shadow again loomed along the coridor followed by the shadow's owner. It looked very like the Shindar were supposed to look. It had a huge muscular torso, and an angular head with small, glaring eyes, and a wide gash of a mouth which opened to reveal rows of shark-like teeth. It had four powerful clawed arms, and a body that looked like that of a colossal spider, with eight gargantuan limbs. It wore a tight black space uniform of some kind, with red trimming. Its skin was a pea-soup green. "RUN!!!!!" screamed the three Scarebears, as they dashed away in terror. Quack-Up, however, still remained unconvinced. "Oh Puh-lease!" he chortled. "That's about the cheesiest getup I've ever seen! That's supposed to be an alien? Gimme a break! That make-up job wouldn't fool a two-year-old! Hhahahhha!" "Er, Quack-Up-" warned Huck. "Not now! I'm too busy laughing! Hahahahahaha! This joker thinks he can fool us again with a dime-store costume?? Oh, man, this guy's killin' me! Hahahahahah-erk!" In that instant the one of the Shindar's arms shot out and seized the smar-alek duck by the neck. "Er..maybe not." Quack-Up squeaked, was the monster's clutch throttled him, causing him to go bug eyed and delirious. The Shindar grinned horribly, showing his full array of teeth. About ten minutes later, the Goof-Ups were trussed to pillars in the main room of a vast, palace-like edifice, prisoners of the Shindar. "Aaaaaah!" exclaimed the spider-like alien. "Long I have been looking for you thieves! And at long last I have captured you!" "Thieves? Us?" asked Yogi "What's he talking about?" "You got me." Said Huck. "Do not take me for stupid!" exclaimed the Shindar. "I do not know who you are, only that you are offworlders, and therefore, you must be the thieves who stole my precious cloning device." "We didn't that cloning device, of yours!" said Quack-Up. That's what we came here for!" "Aha!" said the Shindar "So you admit it! If you did not steal my cloning device, then you must have come here with the intent to do so! Why else would any offworlders be here?" "Like, we don't got nothin' to do with taking yer clone machione!" said Yogi "like, Captain Snerdly sent us to find it." This seemed to impress the huge alien. "Captain Snerdly? So he's the one behind this, eh? So what does he want with my creation! I suppose he wants because that hack job invented by the galactic scientists was so lousy." "Come to think of it," ventured Quack-Up "What do you want with some cheap, dime-store quality knock-off clone machine?" This caused the Shindar to glower with rage, but at last he said,"I invented the machine not for profit, but as a way to keep my race alive. You see, I am the last of my species. My name is Balzog. Once, we Shindars ranged throughout the galaxy, and had an empire of our own on many worlds. But our females slowly became sterile, thanks to an accursed genetic virus that only we were susceptible. Our individual lifespans covered hundreds of years, but at last only I was left. So after mourning the rest of my people, I came hear to this remote world on the fringe of the Nebulark Nebula. That is why I inslaved the inferior, furry natives here." "Hey!" exclaimed Scarebear. He had been shivering, with his eyes tightly shut this whole time, but that last comment caused him to snap out of it. "What's the idea of you like, makn' slaves of those poor little defenseless Scarebears? Yogi demanded. "I did not wish it." Continued Balzog. "But I needed someone to mine the crystals. This planet is rich in them-the richest source of crystals I could find in this entire galaxy. I need the crystals to power the circuits my clone machine. In my factory the crystals are ground down into power to use to convert energy for the duplication of life. I finally created the perfect machine! But before I had a chance to use it on myself it was stolen-and I can only assume that you are the ones responsible!" "We're ain't responsible!" said Quack-Up. "But we can fer sure tell you who is!" "Hmmmmmmm." Said Balzog thoughtfully "What you say interests me, I must admit. Tell me what you know." "And if we do, will you let us go, and help us catch him?" Scarbear asked. "I'll think on it." Answered Balzog. "Start talking." They told him all about Tacky Cat, and his plan to take over the galaxy by creating a cloned army of himself. Just then Captain Snerdly called on Yogi's transmitter. "Come in, officer Yogi" "Officer Yogi here, smarter than the a-ve-rage Space Ranger." "Well, isten up, you bunch of lazy nincompoops!" came the crabby voice of the captain. "This is your captain speaking. Tacky Cat and his clone army have launched an attack on the Corusnut, capital of the galactic republic." "And what do you want us to do to stop him, may I be so bold as to ask?" "Get your galactic rears in gear, and go get him! General Bullhorn and myself, are already on our way." "No sooner said than done, Captain Snerdly, sir." Yogi clicked off this transmitter and looked knowingly at Balzog. "Well, Mr. Balzog sir, I think we should be on our merry way." Balzog agreed that it must have been Tacky Cat who had stolen his cloning device, so he let the space rangers go. He also accompanied them back through the jungle to where their ship had crashed when the sky-shark had coughed it up. Soon they were streaking in the direction of Corusnut, capital of the galactic republic. Once they penetrated the air of the city- planet, they immediantely saw Tacky Cat's army. It was an entire fleet of starcruisers spread out over the capital. "Boy, that Tacky Cat shore wasn't kiddn' that's for shore." Huck said, as they looked out the cabin at the vast fleet. All of the spaceships were also clones-clones of Tacky's own run-down cat-faced star-cruiser. "Come in officer Yogi." Came the voice on Yogi's transmitter. This time it was the General's voice. "Officer Yogi, willing and able, sir." "Listen up!" commanded Bullhorn. "We're in the ship right next to you." They looked out to see the Space Force cruiser moving right alongside them. "Don't bother with this fleet. We just need to capture that Tacky scoundrel. Then we can find a way to whipe out the clones. There's too many of them, and without their leader, they won't be a problem. All of them are lacking Tacky cat's mental facilities." "Like that's a big loss." Said Huck. "What I want from you brave men is to fly down to the courtyard in front of the Capital Building. That's where that space scoundrel is threatening the president. Go down and apprehend that foul feline!" "No sooner said than done, General Bullhorn, sir. " Their ship plunged down into the courtyard. When they landed and got out, they saw that, sure enough, Tacky Cat was pointing a blaster gun at the president of the galactic republic. There was an assemblege of humans, cartoon animals and aliens who also had their hands up. The reason was obvious. A dozen duplicates of Tacky cat had identical blasters pointed at the crowd. "Now don't nobody move," Tacky was saying, " and the prez here won't get hurt." He grabbed the president by his shirt. The president-or should I say former president is comin' with me! I'm the one running the replic from now on. Oh, and I've got a few changes I want to make, too." Keeping his blaster trained on the president, he sat the man back in his chair behind the podium where the man had been giving his speech. Then Tacky Cat stepped up to the podium, a grin of utter rottenness on his unlovely features. "Now listen up!" he spoke into the loudspeaker. "This is your new president speaking! There's gonna be some changes 'round here starting right about now." He unrolled a long list of paper, which unfurled clear across the courtyard. "Item numero uno! All groceries in the galaxy will now carry nothing but catfood-" "Hold on there, Tacky Cat!" shouted Yogi. "Unhand that president you.you..fleabag, you!" "Hah! Not on yer life, Galaxy Goofballs! Try and make me!" The Tacky clones who were holding the audience captive now turned on Yogi, Huckleberry, Quack-Up and Scarebear. They approached with evil sneers on their faces. "Get'em, guys!" yelled Tacky Cat. And then something else happened. The Goof-Ups looked up to see the the armada of Tacky Cat ships open their bellies, and disgorge hundreds and hundreds of Tacky clones. These clones were riding on flying platforms. They zoomed down through the air toward the courtyard. The crowd ran screaming. "Er...what do we do now?" said Yogi. "I say we panic!" suggested Scarebear covering his eyes and quaking. "I seconds that!" agreed Quack-Up. "Wells, ah say it's 'bout time we used Plan 326-k-7." "Just what I was thinking!" Quack-Up agreed. "Good 'ol Plan 326-k-7! Er.just what is Plan 326-k-7?" "It the hand-operated clone disintigrator gadget." Huck explained. He leveled the device at the advancing Tacky Cats and pressed the red button. The first of the clones disintregrated. He began pressing rapidly blowing up, Tacky's army as they came. He then stared firing on the clones that came zooming out of the sky. Finally the last of the clones, fear on their unhandsome faces, turned tail and zoomed back up into the bellys of the ships. "That'll show you guys!" Quack -Up called after them. But Tacky Cat was not in the least fazed. "Heheheheh! There's heaps more clones where these came form boys!" he held out the clone machine and pressed the red button. Duplicates began appearing of himself, and these advanced on the Space Rangers. "Let's get out of here!" said Yogi. "Those clones just keep coming!" "Wait, I've got an idea!" said Quack-Up. He held up a piece of cloth. "Where did you get that?" Huck asked. "From Tacky Cat's ship last time he messed with us." " How can you use that?" "Allow me show you!" He went right up to where Tacky Cat was reimbursing his army and held out the cloth. "You know what this is, don't you, Tacky, 'ol pal?" "Wait! No not that!" cried Tacky. But Quack-Up placed the cloth on the machine and pressed the button. And... More clones started popping into existence only these were not Tacky Cat clonse, they were clones of Tacky Cat's wife, Perfecta! And they all seemed very angry with him. Tacky Cat was backing away from them in abject horror. "No! Wait! Stop! Not this!" The new clones were advancing on him. "Why, you no-good, couch potato, lazy loafer! So this is what you've been up too, eh? Trying to rule the galaxy without me, are you! Trying to get out of doing the housework? And when are you going to by me that fur coat you promised?! Wait till we get our hands on you!" "Now, come on, my sweet love bird!" said Tacky Cat. "you know I really love you, I just needed a way to get some cash that's all..." "Excuses! Excuses!" "Guys! Wait! Arrest me don't leave me to her!" Called Tacky to the Goof- Ups. 'Tsk Tsk!" said Quack -Up. "Looks like we don't need to." "IF YOU BOZOS DON"T ARREST ME," Tacky cat raged "I"LL TAKE OFF MY SOCKS!!!!!" The Goof-Ups jumped back in sudden horror. Tacky might be an underhanded Space-villain, but only when he was very desperate would he ever do something as dreadful as taking his socks off. But before he had a chance to pull them off, the first of the Perfecta clones seized him by the ear. The other clones dragged him off into his original space ship, which took off in the direction of the Hairball planet. The Goof-Ups were saved- and they had saved the galaxy. They wasted no time in disintegrating the rest of Tacky's army, and returned the clone macine to Balzog. Then, back at the command station, the Galaxy Goof-Ups stood ready to receive their awards for uncustomary bravery. "And now you brave men," General Bullhorn was saying. "For once again risking your lives to save our galaxy, I present you with-" all at once they all noticed that officer Quack-Up was missing. "Where's officer Quack- Up?" "Last ah heard, he was foolin' round with that clone gadget". "Er...when was this?" Captain Snerdly asked "'Bout the time you asked us to clean the floor in the mess hall." "Oh, no!" shouted Snerdly, remembering an off-hand comment he'd made that he wished he could have fifty more men to get the job done. He dashed toward the mess hall, and through the door open. The hall was filled with Quack-Up clones. All of them were busy mopping the floor polishing the cabinets, cleaning the tables with sponges tied on their webbed feet---and all were splashing suds and water everywhere. Foam flew through the air as the clones wheezed and worked. Captain Snerdly stood in blank horror for several minutes, then yelled, long and loud. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!!  
  
FIN 


End file.
